.]~A Space in Heaven~[.

the end of another year has come. is that good or bad... hmm im getting older... time really flies (ah what the heck, this statement is getting old)

how was my 2007?

hmm i would say it wasn't well lived. first half of the year was ok i guess... but army continues to screw my life. anyway i still miss my school days and my sch frens... after all it used to be like u get to see everyone u knew in sch everyday, as early as 6:45am. but in 2007.. u dun really see them anymore... instead... now i sleep with my army frens, eat with them, work with them... but they aren't as close as sch frens, after all most of every army-made frens i have.. i only know them for 3 months, then they go, some 6 months... a few 9 months... many of every other guy are just like colleagues... and i dun really enjoy every single day...

now that 2008 is coming... i dunno... it feels as though life is pulling me further away from what i used to have -- carefree life of being a teenage student and the fun days being with sch frens. im clutching on to the volatile memories of those years... but 2007 don't stack up with them in my hands, instead it stays in my head as an empty gap between me and 2006-. 2008 is prolly gonna be another 2007, just worse... coz throughout the whole year im still in the army.. those ord-ing in dec next year sure are lucky, coz they get to end 2008 with a happy note..AND get their pink IC before christmas...

but anyway i think before i enlisted i did talk bout 2007 and 2008 being a empty part of my life, stolen by the army, time that i'll never get back... may army change my point of view in 2008...

 

anyway im starting to get bored of msn space... can someone help me create a blog on blogspot or sth? =X

been suffering the past few weeks.... it really sux to have an asshole as ur superior.

 

but anyway doughnuts+ tang yuan + wine + full moon = shiok shiok :)

firstly, my last week in sispec was um quite ok. whole week of parade rehearsals.. thurs in particular, oh man, parade from 8am to 10pm. got sunburnt. the weeek had nights out so its quite relaxing. then parade rehearsals are dam sian... march here and there, do drills, waste time sia.. but ultimately the parade was nice. met sgt yaowen lol. interestingly, he was last batch de golden bayonet award winner, then now his trainee, my fren jackie, is the new godlen bayonet award winner. guan heng was at my parade too, as a band member.. didn't know till that night when i went amk then met him lol. so anyway, full moon on pop, it sure made the evening fantastic. the parade went well, we looked smart, we took lotsa pictures, the refreshments were good, and i left the bunk i lived in for 3 months, parting my frens as we go our own separate ways. the bonds forged and memories made wont fade. so anyway i grabbed my belongings, took a last look at my bunk, took my cert and i left sispec for good. h well i will miss that place.

but freaking hell.. i didn't get what i wanted... i didn't get posted to bmtc as a instructor... that really made me depressed...

 

i got posted to guards.... how will life be? its not gonna be easy thats for sure... but its my first hand at unit's life. lets see how its like.

so anyway i tried to spend the rest of my weekend happily, though inside me i still feel sad

hmm lets just say.. it feels just like today, near dusk, as i cycled in the drizzling rain. its like.. sun setting , its supposed to be a beautiful end, and the start of the next phase of life... and yet uncertainty and sorrow appears in the pic. it gives u this refreshing yet dull feeling. haha

hey who knows... first thing tml morning they may tell me im transferred to bmtc!!

u wish alvin...

 

hey wait, its my bdae, maybe if i wish for it it may come true.. lol!

i guess i shouldn't be sad, after all.... the training in sispec is SUPPOSED to make me a section commander after all...

well actually i slept through quite a few lectures on being a section commander in terms of discipline, leadership, etc....

 

anyway full moon on my bdae, wow thats special. =D

thx to all those who messaged me happy bdae coz it does make my day, and thx for the presents. =D

 

 

the last week of my course is finally here. its my last week spent in golf coy, prolly the last week i ever step inside sispec, and tonight is the last book-in (which is why they give us 2359). i certainly did enjoy my weekend.. becoz i finally passed my soc!!!

yea man, yesterday was a saturday worthed spending in camp. it was a quiet and scary morning, the seconds before the tests felt like shit. furthermore, my detail consisted of only 3 men. 3 men running 700m can be difficult, becoz its hard ot tell if we were running fast or slow, and its also quite demoralising. i was the first among the 3 to reach the low wall, and also the only one to make it through the obstacles... i completed the ramp (final obstacle) at around 6:40min. "will history repeat itself?" this time i decided to strategise a bit... i combined 2 formulae used from my previous 2 failures and improvised on it..

the first one (thurs) i completed the ramp after 7 min, i walked out of the obstacle course and onto the pavement before jogging, and jogged all the way without stopping

the 2nd (fri).. i completed the ramp at 6:30, and ran straightaway, at a faster speed than the day before, but running on grass/soil turned out to be quite exhausting, and i stopped soon enough. from then on i took quite a few breaks in between, assuming the 30 sec buffer would help me pass

so this time i walked to the pavement, allowing myself some time to catch my breath, and then i run just fast enough to maintain the pace.

i was so excited that im gonna pass and pass out as a sergeant, that i almost lost it due to poor breathing. but i told myself to calm down and run like i was about to fail.

i managed to overtake 2 other ppl from the detail ahead, but it wasn't easy, as their speed and fatigued posture tempts me to slow down and stop running. its like a degen aura. but i managed to shrug it off by letting out a loud cry whenever i approach them.

so when i reached the finishing line, i was so overfilled with enlighthenment and excitement, as i am finally free from the torment of failing, and i earned myself a spot in the passing out parade.

 

i would like to thank all who encouraged me and kept me going.

u know, failures make ur final success more sweet and meaningful.

 

but this is not the end, im going to go for silver in ippt, and earn myself the csb that belongs to me.

 

 

 

when i realised its just 7 days to my bdae, i felt quite shocked that its already 3 weeks into november, my favourite month.

anyone watched enchanted tell me if its nice k

despite nearing the end of my course, the days i spend become darker and darker. im still tied down with a very frustrating and nerve-racking obstacle, the stupid Standard Obstacle Course. i needa get a timing of 9:59 or below in order to pass my course and promote to a sergeant. and if i fail to do so in 1 week, everything that i've gone through for the past 11 weeks would have been a waste of time... so much is at stake... enduring all the hardship for 11 weeks (+ another week next week) just to fail the whole aslc course? damn it! ARGH

 

for the past few days i've been troubled becoz of soc. i spend whole days thinking bout it.... i spend hours before the tests stoning and running my mind through the obstacle course...

i suffer like shit throughout the obstacle course, pushing myself beyond my limits

and then take the blow of failing the soc again....

 

every obstacle i reach i refresh my mind... my reflex taking control on clearing each station. i shrug off the fatigue as much as i can, giving up thoughts of giving up... all the sht that comes to my mind forms a battlefield. a war takes place in my head. the pressure is just too much...

 

yesterday my timing was 10:17... today 10:16

and today, i can feel 2 sides of me after the test. 1 being calm and encouraging myself to try again the next time... while the other side of me goes into a rage, disappointed and on the verge of breaking down.

 

sigh... the torment will go on... but the only way out is to pass soc...

will i make it? these few days will tell.

meanwhile... i have to book in now

tml another restest.. how..

so it all startedback in october, 22nd...

 

i took a plane to taiwan (it was a enjoyable ride as its my first time taking a plane)

landed at around 8:35am.. a glimpse of the environment outside the airport sparked my curiosity in what was going to be installed for the coming 3 weeks. as we walked down the halls, we tired to brighthen up the atmosphere and shake off the morning lethargy by attempting to read the (traditional) chinese signboards, and taking photos of each other. upon grabbing our breakfast (which consisted of jam & cheese sandwich, cream roll, some pastry, and grape juice), we boarded the bus and embarked on a h+ ride to camp.. during the long but relaxed journey, i spent my time observing the type of vegetation Taiwan has to offer for me to prone, and sleep on. watched some baseball match on TV too.. upon reaching camp we ate lunch (lol, whole day do nth but travel and eat) damn! the food at Meilin camp is sooo much better than any army cookhouse food i've tried so far. unfortunately, we had to wash our own plates and utensils. well the trouble is, not everyone cleans up their own mess dilligently, and you can occasionaly find detergent foam on the plates in the rack. dusk comes at 5pm, and by 6pm, it is as dark as Singapore's 8pm. the temperature is cold too, so cold you would think theres air-con everywhere (outdoor). the hottest it can ever get is prolly the 10am temperature in Singapore, and in the evenings its as cold as a shopping mall. well... autumn rox. so anyway even the night snack ROX~ strawberry bun with chocolate coating, floss bun with seaweed toppings, cream rolls... *drools*

 

outfield was freaking tough. lotsa lotsa walking, not just the distance but climbing of hills. and they are real hills, not the ones in Singapore, lol. theres this particular hill called 404 (its actually the altitude), and I've climbmbed it dunno how many upteem times, in SBO with and without rifle, in full batle order, heavy and standard versions, and its freaking tiring. I also had the chance to walk on this particular ridge, which is so narrow that if you shuffle ur feet to the left or right by 2 steps, feet next to each other, you would be rolling down to god-knows-how-far-down...

 

during my 2nd outfield/platoon battle course, we had to harbour at this bamboo plantation, thats when i knew whats cold... (not the coldest night yet). its one of the worst nights coz i woke up in the middle of the night to find 7 or 8 slugs on my field pack, 1 in my helmet.. and even when i finally got rid of them after 1 hour, trails of slime were all over my field pack..

of

 

so anyway we cleaned up, we packed, and we left for R&R

the 4 days 3 nights of fun was indeed fun. went to 3 theme parks, went to some old streets, and lotsa shopping. i only shopped during the organised tour, didn't really shop at night during the free-and-easy time. but my frens were different, they shop like crazy every night. clothes, shoes, etc. as such, i was always the first to reach back the hotel (once i didn't even bother going out), while the rest would come back at 2330.. all our meals were at restaurants. the food taste really nice, but theres just too many ppl, and its always frustrating to squeeze with 9 other ppl in 1 table, it gets kinda uncomfortable to eat.

 

on the tour bus, we watched quite a few movies. "I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry", "American Pie", "Dead or Alive", "Rush Hour 3", "Appoclypse Toe", "Blades of Glory"... i pretty much enjoyed them all, except dead or alive.

 

so many things i wanna talk about, but i think its getting late, tml gotta book in... =/. next week then edit this entry.

btw, gazing stars from a plane is an interesting experience, coz stars dun only shine from ur top. u can look straight and woah, stars. u can also see snowflakes on the plane's windows at certain altitude too. cool huh.

i wonder if eating something really sour during my soc will perk me up and keep me going till the end... or will it just make me breathless and give up.

 

anyway just had field camp... dam tired... every night only got 2-4 hours of sleep. rmb its not just bout the reduced number of hours of rest, but the amount of time spent doing something else... for 2 nights hadda walk 6km to objective.... with a heavy load too... i was so tired that i actually fell asleep while walking... but i tripped anyway. 2nd day had to do lotsa digging too, dig till blisters form, but thats not the prob... it rained!!! wth la. in fact it rained everyday during field camp.... thats seriously a no-no for outfield. anyway after like 15 (approx figure) hours of digging, everything was set up... oh and i wanted to refill my water before i take my rest, so in sheer darkness i navigated around... got decieved by a yellow lightstick which signified a trench instead of the hq... and fell into that trench... what luck...

by the end of field camp, my heat rashes were really terrible... the feeling is so.... omg-unbearable *shudders at the thought of it*

 

anyway now that field camp is cleared... i have roc to go. and that would take place next week. yup im going taiwan for 3 weeks. miss me k. lol

and yes... soc... man i dun want to fail my course after all that i've gone through just becoz of 1 stupid soc.... lets see how it goes...

 

hurray to chocolates and ice cream

cant wait for weekends... =D

soc fail, ippt no $100... but its ok...

 

mid autumn festival took place this past week, and the moon was definitely full and bright. even without nice mooncakes, i took out my green water bottle and drank it like tea, as i look up into the cold night sky, embracing the moonlight. the glow of the moon cast a blanket of serenity upon all of us, and removes all feelings of loneliness even though its outfield.

but anyway, heard that mars will be big and bright this year-end.

 

the bslc batch (juniors) came in too. they give me more pride in doing what i do everyday, coz having trainees that are doing what u went through already makes u feel good u know, haha. but they still new la, got once in cookhouse i was standing in their queue, and a few of them were talking away when i slowly turn back and look at them. sia la, dunno is it my beret or my rank, they went silent immediately and stare at me with the "did i do sth wrong? are u going to screw me?" look, XD.

hmm maybe i should wear the instructors' singlet and walk into their bunks and knock them down for fun and then flee from the crime scene.

 

thoughts that actually went on in alvin's mind during the last soc, from start to end pt...

"all right here we go... lets try for a pass"

"wow... im not panting yet, red bull does give you wings!"

"hmm... 3min 14sec.. kinda behind time..."

"yes!"

"come on... go go go"

"jia you alvin... dun stop"

"uh right... my rifle"

"1, 2, UP"

" ****, that was close" (almost fell to my doom)

"AAAAAHHH!!! (exhausted sia)"

"7min... dam i'm not gonna make it"

" **** this! fail le la"

"saturday stay back le la... anyway what should i do this weekend? hmm"

"come on alvin! is this the end?"

"i wonder whens the next soc"

"lets try to clock 11min"

 

friday learnt to play with explosives too, pretty impressive. its like... explosive! lol

 

live firing tml... dun die pls.. =X

>_< still sick. must update my anti-virus haha. but despite my deterioated state of physical capabilities, i managed to  take part in soc, clocking 14 min (fail 4 min), pass my live shoot, run 10km within 1 hour (total distance jogged/run this week= more than 22km), and i found all checkpoints in my navigation test last nite!

 

attached is a pic of a map of where i travelled by foot (with a vest, helmet, and rifle). lower red dot= day start point, while the one on the eastern side is my day night point, night start point, and night end point. yellow dots= checkpoints, green line= general route of travel. and as u can see in the map, its all forest. it was not an easy start as it rained in the morning. we not only looked like idiots standing in the rain, it made the uncovered soil muddy, our equipment wet, and the raindrops are irritating. reached back camp at 9:30pm =D.